My mother always said that ballet lessons were wasted on me, and she was right. Never a graceful person, I was always in a rush to get somewhere – a trait that followed me into adulthood. When walking down a hall at school, I frequently got the comment, “You look like you’re on a mission,” which got annoying over time. Yes, I’m on a mission, and that mission is to get to where I’m going as quickly as possible.
When I moved to the Chicago suburbs and took a job on Michigan Avenue, I frequently used my lunch breaks to walk around the city. I went everywhere, making the most of my hour-long lunch break as possible. One day, I decided to be really “with it” and I brought athletic shoes to change into so I could walk even faster and go further during my lunch break.
I took this selfie at Navy Pier on that gorgeous February day. Notice it’s nice enough that I was walking without a coat.
In February.
In Chicago.
As it was, I was moments from disaster and had no idea.

So there I was, walking back to work at the speed of light, when my foot met one of Chicago’s not-so-nicely-maintained sidewalks. I was in the middle of gazing upward at one of the beautiful buildings on my way back from lunch and in danger of running just a little bit late. I was FLYING – meaning walking at an extremely brisk pace – but in a matter of nanoseconds I was literally flying through the air, preparing to meet my maker. I mean, the older I get, the scarier falls become. I distinctly remember those horrible moments where time slows down so you can enjoy every horrifying moment before you land, and you wonder how many bones you’re going to break when you do land.
Amazingly, my left hand was able to prevent my head from cracking against the sidewalk, but my left knee took the brunt of the fall. I took a couple seconds to verify that I was still alive, and I realized I had landed at the base of someone’s feet – a man sitting on a bench.
“Hey, are you OK?” he asked. He seemed generally concerned. “Come sit down for a second.”
The alarming embarrassment was growing on me at a rapid pace. I got up, dusted myself off, and noticed that people had either stopped to stare or were moving toward me to help.
Highlight all the bad stuff about Chicago that you want, but I was genuinely surprised that so many people asked if I was OK or offered to help me. I mean, I see crackheads fall down every day in Chicago when I’m working downtown and they could have easily shuffled me into that category and turned a blind eye.
Horrified by my own clumsiness, I quickly assured people I was OK and blended back into the crowd in the sidewalk. I glanced down at my Skecher leggings and was simply amazed that they didn’t have a giant, gaping hole in the knee, so shoutout to Skecher for the hardiness of their leggings. I could feel that my knee probably wasn’t going to look the greatest when I finally could get somewhere private and take a peek at it.
Back at my office, I peeled back the legging to reveal a bloody freaking mess and a knee that was quickly turning various shades of purple. One of my fingers was swelling, too, and I worried that I had broken it. Thankfully, my boss took one glance at me and let me go home early.
A trip to immediate care revealed that my finger wasn’t broken but was probably just badly sprained.
That day I learned that you never walk briskly while looking up at the buildings around Chicago. The sidewalks will eat you alive.
One time I was walking with coffee in hand (not so briskly because, well, even I learn sometimes) and an area of sidewalk I was on had a rather concerning little hole that had developed along the crack to where you could see a nice 3-inch-wide gap under the concrete. Just as I was getting ready to step over the hole, a huge rat popped his head up, then ducked down when he saw me stepping over him. To my credit, I did not flinch, nor did I spill my coffee. Perhaps those ballet lessons did teach me some poise, after all.
Anyway, back to my penchant for stupid little accidents.
Fast forward to December 22nd. It was a Monday and I had taken the first part of the week off to prepare for Christmas – cleaning, cooking, and wrapping presents. I had just showered and dressed and was walking at my usual 98 mph on the way to my closet, which is at the end of our bathroom, where I suddenly learned a very important math concept:
Tile floor + my fast walk + tiny little sploot of water on said tile floor = falling me.
I went down hard – so hard that my husband, who was in the bathroom with the fan on, yelled, “Are you OK?”
“I’m . . . not . . . sure,” I answered while I slowly sat up. My knee – the same one I had bloodied that day in Chicago, was bleeding again. Clearly, I have a favorite knee to land on. My fingers felt OK and had landed on the carpet in the closet, but the lower half of my body had spun out on the tile floor and my toes had either hit the wall or had just twisted an unnatural direction on the way down, for they felt a little strange.
“Can you move your toes?” My husband asked. I had been moving them around and trying to assure myself that all was fine and that I was just a little bruised.
Then the swelling increased, and so did the pain.
I spent the first day of my Christmas break at the immediate care clinic, getting x-rays that confirmed that I had broken my 2nd and 3rd toe.
Merry Christmas! Here’s a boot.
Needless to say, my Christmas break was not very productive. I wouldn’t label myself a control freak, but I definitely like to have things just so when I’m entertaining, cooking, or cleaning. I hate asking for help. HATE IT. Now I had to ask for help for a lot of things, which included going to the grocery store because driving was out of the question with a boot on my right foot.
The day before my birthday, I was due for my 2nd checkup at 6 weeks, when I confidently believed that I would be getting the boot off.
The verdict: third toe healed; second toe not so much. Happy birthday! You have been given three more weeks in the boot.
Although I my foot is no longer painful and doesn’t really hinder my everyday life, the boot is cumbersome and irritating to wear every day.
I’m also 52, so I supposed this is a test run for getting older and not being a spring chicken with nice, strong bones.
But watch out; on February 25, this boot WILL be coming off and that means everyone has to get out of the kitchen and let me cook and clean the house the right way.
































